I am my child’s human experience

I received precious knowledge from the documentary “The Human Experience.”  The reality that everyone has a life story is a very beautiful concept.  It will change the way I see people.  The section about the Leper Colony brought me sadness, and I questioned what I would feel sitting next to them.  It was the first time I have seen someone with leprosy, I honestly didn’t think it still existed.  

When I was a teenager, my aunt and uncle had a child- he was born at 30 weeks and weighed 1 lb 13 oz.  That is a block of cheese, the father could even fit his wedding ring around the baby’s arm. I will never forget seeing him in the incubator, so fragile I thought he could break.  I babysat him often, and went to a training class on how to handle premature babies.  Carrying him around with a heart detector and stomach tube was not easy.   And his regular puking episodes were so hard to watch. Years continued on and he grew, he was the typical 2 year old, into everything and full of attitude. My character was tested one day, and I laughed that I would argue with a toddler.  Instantly, the negative child  memories flooded my mind.  I realized that one day he would have memories of me, and my actions determined if it was good or bad.  It was my first understanding of what influence was.

I am my child’s human experience.  Corbin’s world is this family.  Kaleb’s foundation is this family.  Obadiah’s security is this family.  This world that we create together should be filled with love, respect, learning, and an appreciation for one another as human beings.  These are the first memories.  These years shape who they will become.  My stresses, annoyances, and chores do not give me a right to bring negativity.  The sacrifice and duty of motherhood brings character.  My children are counting on me.  They are counting on me for confidence in who they are, to unconditionally love them and to give them the freedom to dance in this trust.  They are depending on me to teach them.  Luc and I are their example of marriage, to be wholehearted for someone.  I will not live in guilt of ways that I have failed, I will live in the joy of my responsibility as a parent.  May I remember this every time I look at them.

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3 thoughts on “I am my child’s human experience

  1. Pingback: I am my child’s human experience (via Ignorance is Bliss) | concretecrissy

  2. Pingback: Single Mothers, I Know How You Feel… | Healing Words Written With Love…

  3. And what a great human experience it is. Children need to be protected for as long and strong as possible. It should be your passion, to be initiated above all else. There is nothing stronger that the Momma Bear’s stance when danger is near.

    I remember my own thoughts and attempts to do everything i could to protect my family. It wasn’t just a concept, but a knowledge that i needed to be thinking of it all the times. Not knowing that many things would come my way to try to attack the idea and reality of “family”, I look back on my time and can see the battle scars and what could of happened that didn’t. Today, I feel that one saying puts it real good…No one gets through life unscathed.

    I often ask God “why” this experience or that, and the answer I always get or what comes to mind is Jesus’ real experience on the cross, before it happened and during unto His death. He warned us about it. He said some of it would happen to us.

    Just yesterday I was trying to come up with a thought to be able to move on from some of my own negative experiences…what formulated in my head was “hey, I survived it, I seem to have all my limbs, but I was warned! Even better, I get to move on by my own decision. I’m taking my licks and moving on because I know that there is a greater life after this one.”

    What other choice do I have? Nothing else fixes it. I won’t stoop low enough to get revenge, although it used to “work” when I was young. When I try to call someone out on grievances, it never works (seems like the evil deck is always stacked against righteousness) and you just end up the bad person. The best for me really is addressing the issue when it occurs, but who can actually do it? One time I acted like it was me who was at fault, even when others were saying I wasn’t. Even that backfired!!!! I think it just isn’t possible, not the way it’s supposed to go.

    I thought it through further, and surrendered to the fact that everybody hurts, that I’m not unique in this respect. The good news is that all this will be corrected someday when I get to Heaven, but the truth is that for some it will just be a let down, where all the wrongs won’t be corrected. I pray not, and Jesus will reign supreme in their lives.

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